September 6,2013 will mark a full twelve months of displacement.
Living in a one room flat for 9 months then living in a 23 foot camper trailer from the 80's with 3 kids isn't what I would call having a home - just a place to live.
I've missed the spring season with my tulips, lilacs, daffies, hyacinths, irises and other spring flowers.
I've felt lonely without the warm feel of garden dirt under me with the sun shining down on me and watching my garden go from planted seeds to plants to harvesting the fruit of my labors to enjoy in the winter.
I've essentially had life on hold because I never know when we will actually make the final move out west.
Living in an "I don't know" world has been incredibly hard for this farmgirl.
I've become snippy, hurried, frustrated and essentially lonely despite having three kids and a husband plus being surrounded by other people.
I've had this great disconnect to the area I previously called my home. Stress was the main emotion.
Longing for the nightmare to end and the dream to continue, or rather just life to continue!
Then I had this knock on the door of life and God reminded me what was important.
It's not what I don't have anymore or what I don't have right know or what I want to have in the future.
It's what I have right now!
Three healthy kids.
Hope for the future.
I've been missing out on so much by missing what I had and what I want to have that I couldn't enjoy the simple things.
The most meaningful things in life.
It's not about what you have, who you are or the idea/dream of what you want to be or what you want to have.
It's about what you do with what you have right now.
Psalm 68:6 says
"God makes a home for the lonely".
Psalm 68:19-20a says
"Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden,
The God who is our salvation. God is to us a God of deliverances.".
Those have been my passages of promise. God has everything under control, instead of being frustrated at my current state of displacement (a nice word for homeless) I can take this extra time to read extra books to listening ears, go on more walks, play more at the park and make more mudpies with my kids.
The time spent longing for things and days gone by only rob today of those precious moments and memories with those most dear to me!
No more wishing, missing, rushing for this farmgirl!