Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Babies, Birthing and Other Women. Mostly Other Women.

So I have been doing a lot of thinking on this subject the past two weeks as my time to birth my third baby is nearing. I have done incredible amounts of research on different methods of birthing, different places to have the baby, different doctors, etc., etc., etc.

I still find it incredibly interesting how some people are so happy to be like sheep and others like to think for themselves before following the herd - if they even follow the herd. 

Now, I am no expert on this subject, even if I were to become a doctor I would never consider myself an expert. Look how many times the experts change their minds. Just today they are releasing a new opinion on baby crib deaths. Interesting. 

But at any rate I am not picking on the experts. The real bone I have to pick is with some women. 

You know the type, the one who thinks she has the most horrific birthing story and repeats it like it is impending doom or putting a hex on you like you will have a horrific birth too. On one hand I feel pity for women like that and on the other hand I think they need a slap to the face. 

It's a shame to scare young women about to birth their first baby with their horror stories. But who else would listen to them? Other women that have had a child really don't care (do they?!) because they have gone through birth themselves and despite the fact whether their birth was horrific or not there is no fear there.

I honestly believe from the bottom of my heart that birth affects all women differently, labor can be different with each pregnancy with each woman and sometimes there are scary medical emergencies that need to be dealt with(which is the basis for most horror stories).

Just a few weeks ago I had a few women tell me their horror stories and I just told them that just because they had a hard time giving birth doesn't mean I will, especially since I have already given birth twice before with no problem. Now, I am not saying there is not a chance there could be a problem but I am NOT counting on it. My glass is half full thank you very much!

What surprises me the most is that if they are telling me this stuff and I have already had two kids I can't imagine how petrified a soon to be mama would be if she was about to have her first child. Shame, shame, shame. Just because you got hit by lightning doesn't mean I will get hit too.

If there was one thing I would love to do is to help new moms realize that those horror stories are not that common and while you may be able to do a lot to prevent a hard labor sometimes medical intervention is necessary. But if medical intervention is necessary it doesn't mean you will have a horror story!

My first labor story is one of frustration. If I had gone to a midwife I would have minimized a lot of hassle for myself. But it was my first so how was I supposed to know? I was just a sheep following the herd of birthing horror stories. My second labor went so much better once I had an idea of what labor and birthing was like. 
I am very excited to go into labor with this baby, it really doesn't hurt, labor is work much like running a race is but at the end it is totally exhilarating and you always get a prize no matter what!

I also did some research on labor and the "women's curse in childbirth" and those people in King James time really through women for a loop. The word for Adam's toil is the same word for Eve's childbirth. Well, you don't see men screaming, cussing and losing themselves over having to work to support their family even though it can be quite rough (especially in the lack of jobs available today). So I figure if it's the same word then it's not that labor will be painful, it is work. Yeah, it can get uncomfortable (I had back labor with my second born) BUT if you view it as painful it will hurt. 

Well I could go on for hours about all this stuff. I started writing a book and I think it's high time I finish it. Who knows, maybe someone will actually read it?! You never know! 

The kids are asking for a snack so I better oblige so we can make it through the "witching hour" before dinner is served! 

Do your fellow pregnant sister's a favor, no horror stories! There must be SOMETHING positive to say about your birth!!! I sure could have made my first birth story a horror story but like I said, my glass is half full! 


Kids are such a blessing!

~KT~

2 comments:

  1. All good advice.....is there a midwife attending this birth?? I had 3 at home.

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  2. I too absolutely love giving birth. If there was pain I didn't realize it...I was focused on doing the best I could to get my baby into the world safely. I did have a few problems with my first, but...as you said...each woman has her own experience. Nobody will experience what I did so why bother telling it. All we can do is stay healthy and concentrate on that precious gift we receive at the end. Wanted 6...only had 2. My son and his wife have included me in the birth of my 3 grandchildren-ages 5, 2 and 3 months. It was the most beautiful, thoughtful thing anyone could ever do for me. My daughter in law was perfect during labor and delivery. She too concentrated on the end result...staying focused on her task. She has a forever place in my heart...I love her.

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